The Eyes That Emerged: A Drawing From My Mental Health Healing Journey

Recently I had been in a bit of an art slump. This is unusual for me as I normally draw multiple pieces throughout the day. When I started working on this blog daily, I found my art output had dropped or stopped. I'm not sure if they are related, if I have limited creative batteries or if I was just distracted. I know I tend to over think things. And then there was the above piece.

I had gotten into a habit of themes and patterns and sticking with various themes and messaging from piece to piece. Then I couldn't think of anything and wasn't sure what theme or idea to go with or what I even wanted to say. After processing this for a few days, sometimes I don't need to say anything, at least not when starting out. Sometimes art bypasses thought.

So I sat down with my tablet and stylus and just let my hands have free reign. Before I knew it, this image had emerged. As if it had just been hanging out in the void waiting to be brought into existence to relay its message to whomever needs it.

The Visuals

There are a lot of lines, and if you've followed my art for any length of time you know I love strange lines and patterns. I'm not fully certain why, other than I love the simplicity of line art and different shapes and thicknesses to create different things.

Then there are the eyes. Almost all of my art has eyes. I love drawing eyes as I feel like when you are looking at it, it feels like the eyes are staring back into you. Like they have a message to be conveyed only to you. I know when I do shows, my stuff with eyes gets a lot of attention and sometimes people pause and are taken back by the eye art.

The Inner Context

As I've posted about previously in This blog, I've been tapering off of my medication for the past two or three weeks. Much to my surprise, I actually feel really good. My mind feels clearer, sharper and I don't feel as tired. When I get an idea to draw or write s0mething, the prospect of doing it doesn't feel like such an insurmountable task.

My mind being clearer, I can't say this is why my creative slump ended. Maybe it is. Maybe my mind not being stuck in such a slog, I'm more equipped to just sit down and start creating without having to work up to it so much before I can even get going. This makes me wonder if there isn't a bunch of ideas and images buried in the deep reaches of my mind that have been just waiting for my head to clear up so they can show themselves.

A Controlled Theme vs. Letting Go

This may or may not have to do with the medication, but I usually need to have some concept or theme before I even start a drawing. Even with my weird, abstract stuff I usually have some visual in my head of what it will look like. This one I didn't even have that other than I started with the eyes.

It was a lot like heading into the unknown. I didn't over think it, I didn't stress it or beat myself up. I just let my hands go to see what came out. About halfway through it was shaping up into something really special. Drawing in this way was both relaxing and freeing. There is just something comforting about sitting down to create art and not worry about what people will think, will someone buy it? or What is my message?

I'm curious if any of you have experienced this? Have you ever had a drawing or art just come through you instead of from you? I'd like to hear your story in the comments if so.

Final Thoughts

My bigger question with a piece like this is always, did this come from my subconscious mind? Channeled from the spirit world? Was it something else entirely?

What I do know is what it felt like, which is all that really matters. It felt relaxing and freeing, and even a little exciting. Once I saw the final image I felt really good and accomplished, like I hadn't lost my mojo and could still draw cool things. I know my art is weird and unlike pretty much anyone else's, but that is the beauty of it.

When I did a few art shows, I saw a ton of artists doing street art and fan art and other styles. All that is great, I love that stuff myself. But a lot of it looks very similar. Now granted, when it comes to selling my art, a lot of people love how it looks but have no idea what they'd do with it. That said, I think there IS for sure an audience out there for it, I just need to find them.

What do you see when you look at this piece? What jumps out at you? Post your thoughts in the comments below.