Tapering Meds and Self Curses

It’s day four of my medication journey, and I’m feeling surprisingly good so far. I’ve halved all my dosages, and the tapering process has been smoother than I expected. There’s always a bit of nervousness in the back of my mind about how my body and mind will react, but right now I feel steady, present, and hopeful.

Morning Rituals: Meditation & Mantras

Every morning, I start the day with 10–15 minutes of meditation and positive affirmations. Sometimes, if I can, I’ll fit in another session in the afternoon or evening. These moments of stillness are becoming the anchors of my day. They help me rewire old thought patterns that were born out of trauma and negativity.

For years, I carried around deep self-loathing. My self-esteem was in shambles. I would joke at my own expense, talk down to myself, and sometimes even lash out physically by hitting myself when I was upset. Looking back, I see how destructive those habits were. Someone once told me, “Words are spells, that’s why it’s called spelling. When you talk bad about yourself, you are cursing yourself.” That hit me like a lightning bolt.

Rewriting the Script

I realized I had been casting curses on myself for years. So now I’m working hard to flip the script. Instead of tearing myself down, I want to become my own cheerleader. I remind myself that successful people don’t talk badly about themselves, they root for themselves, encourage themselves, and speak words of strength and possibility.

This doesn’t mean it’s easy. Some days the old habits creep in, and I catch myself slipping into that negative self-talk. But the difference is: I catch it now. I recognize it. And I’m actively choosing to replace those thoughts with affirmations of worth, resilience, and growth. That’s progress.

Moving Forward

I know this journey won’t be perfectly linear—some days will be harder than others. But four days in, I can feel subtle shifts happening. My brain feels like it’s slowly being rewired with each meditation and mantra. I’m not just tapering medication, I’m tapering away from old patterns of self-harmful thinking and stepping into a space of healing.

It feels like a small but powerful burst forward. And I’m holding onto that.