Reconnecting with my inner Witch

I know I did a whole blog series on finding Buddhism, and there are a lot of elements to Buddhism I really appreciate, I just find it a bit tricky to keep up with in practice. I'd been a practicing witch and pagan for years before, so decided to reconnect with what made that work for me so well.

As I had gotten into witchcraft and paganism, I found myself following various traditions and methods which is fine, I was attached to various deities at different times and it worked well for me. Early in my practice for a long time, I simply connected with the universe and worked from there.

I'm currently reading Rebel Witch by Kelly Ann Maddox.

It basically talks about how to craft your own unique practice which isn't a new concept, but its organized in a way that helps my brain piece it together. Kind of like blogging helps me organize my thoughts.  I'm about 25 pages in and its already really helpful.

My problem when I started focusing on deities, I was focused on magic and power from outside myself. Reaching out to some other thing to help me solve problems and accomplish things. Truth is with my level of self esteem and imposter syndrome, I need a practice that helps rebuild my spirit and tap into my own inner strength and power.

Our strength and magic can come from inside ourselves. We each possess it, its just a matter of tapping into it and having the confidence it will do what we want when we touch on it correctly. I know this is a lot of woo woo stuff even for me. I am a person of science, I believe in science. I also believe there are a lot of forces out there we will never truly understand. The most we can do is understand and empower ourselves.

So that is where I'm at at the moment. I've started journaling again, but this time from a different stand point. I'm focusing on writing down my goals and manifestations. Turning my journal into a simple grimoire of sorts. My journal/spellbook is nothing super fancy. I don't like elaborate journals. I find them difficult and usually small to write in. I use a CD Notebook with smooth paper made in Japan. For me the writing experience and ease is more important than the aesthetic.

That's not to say you can't use a fancy looking journal or grimoire. there are some very cool looking journals out there. I'm just saying it doesn't need to be something like that to work. You could keep loose papers in a folder if that is easier for you. Just my view, I'm a firm believer in a person should stick to what works for them and I'm trying to rely on that more. My autistic brain sometimes needs something more rigid to get started which is why I leaned into established practices. But now I'm ready to branch out into eclecticism and spread my own wings more. Tap into my own magic and see how far it takes me.

I feel really good and excited about this, like I'm connecting with a part of myself I had found early in my healing journey, but somehow lost sight of. It will feel good to find that again and unleash it. I'm not sure why I ventured away from it other than maybe I scared myself a little, but I feel its time to open my mind and magic and let myself flourish. I'll be blogging this journey so you are all welcome to join me on this next leg. I hope everyone enjoys the ride!