Moths, Inkblots, and the Way My Mind Sees the World

Lately you may have noticed my art all looks similar to the image above. before I was doing liquid type painting with eyes. These have eye-like features to them. I had to ask myself what is this and why am I doing it? I feel very connected to these images, besides the fact that I created them, but because I feel they come frome somewhere deep within my spirit. Being a pagan, I believe art is more than psychological but it is also spiritual.

Symbolism & Meaning

I've always been fascinated by moths, they are beautiful creatures. More beautiful than butterflies in my opinion. To me they have a lot of spiritual meaning to them. Most importantly new beginnings. I feel the moth represents the death of one's old self and being reformed or reshaped as a new creature all together. This is something I lived through after my bad breakdown several years ago. I went through months of treatment and therapy and formed my spiritual practice of meditation and learning about different deities and practices. As a result that old person I once was is gone and someone new and better has come out of it.

To commemorate this a couple years ago, I got a tattoo of a Death's Head Moth on my left arm.

These blots also look like a Rorschach test which is another layer to the meaning this art may have. As mental health is a big aspect of my art and blogging, this type of image takes on even more meaning as everyone sees something different. It always fascinates me to talk to people who view these pieces to tell me what they see and what it means to them.

Aesthetic & Process

Oddly there is something very soothing drawing these images. I feel like whatever image or creature I'm creating is manifesting itself, telling me where each line and color goes and how it should look. That sounds weird. I draw on my tablet by hand, but its quite cathartic and meditative. The best thing is seeing the finished product when I'm done, and just sitting with it and taking it in. I don't always know in my head when I start out just what I plan to create. Its all very intuitive. I think this is where my autistic brain comes in. I don't need it to be perfect. Sometimes there is a stray line or mark somewhere and I may just leave it instead of deleting it. It gives it character and its own personality.

The Allure of Symmetry

I love doing these symmetrical shapes. I use Infinite Painter on my Samsung tablet and it has a vertical split function I can use when I draw on one side it duplicates it on the the other. This may seem like cheating, but to me it is mesmerizing to watch the other side form as I draw on one side.

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The Mystery of Abstract Art

I've done a whole blog on this before, but I'll touch on it here. What I love about abstract art is how so many people can look at the same thing and come away with a different meaning. I may have my own intentions and meaning as I do an abstract art piece, but that doesn't mean its the only meaning. Once I put it out into the world, it is open for everyone else's interpretation and all are valid.

It always feels good to me when someone has a new meaning of my art I hadn't heard before or tells me it has touched them in some way. It tells me people aren't just glancing at it and passing it by, but taking it all in and making it a part of themselves. It having an impact on people which is all any artist can ask for.

Repetition and Artistic Obsession

I know I repeat a lot of similar looks and themes in my art. I sometimes worry they look too much the same. I even like to use the same color palettes and patterns. I guess its how my mind sees the world so it keeps coming out slightly different. I don't know if I have a full on answer for this, just something I'm exploring. Every artist is known for their style, I suppose this may be mine, or some version of it.

I notice in my artwork, I tend to lock on on a certain thing or pattern and do that same style over and over for months before moving on to the next things. Perhaps I have set things to say and it takes me all that time though those drawings to get it all out before a new message comes through.

Darkness, Shadows, and the Uncanny

A lot of people tell me my art is dark or creepy. Though most tell me its like beautifully dark which I like. I've always been into horror and the occult. I'm currently reading a book called Momento Mori about accepting death to live a better life. Its been very comforting and eye opening for me to sit and read, and oddly relaxing.

I guess I just find comfort in dark things. I think it may stem back to my upbringing being super religious and anything dark was considered evil or Satanic. I was always drawn to and fascinated by those things. Now, my life kind of centers around it. I think there is a beauty in darkness many people over look or have a blind spot for. People who enjoy dark things are often demonized or misunderstood. We're good people, we just like things that are darker or spooky.

So knowing what I know about my past and childhood, this would explain why my art, even abstract always has a darker aesthetic to it and foreboding feel. Part of it too, the real world is already full of evil and horrors. My fear and anxiety of these things also comes out in my art and hopefully brings comfort to others.

I hope this sums up a little about me and my art. This art thing has been quite a journey, but I'm loving every minute of it. For a long time I tried to sell my art without much success. My art is kind of niche and weird and I just don't think appeals to a wide array of people, not in the sense they'd want it hanging up in their living room anyway. Its ok though, this blog is a good outlet for my art and my words. Thank you all again for joining. Please consider a subscription so I can keep the lights on and talk to you all again real soon.