Lost in my Own Head

I just got back from the doctor getting my prescriptions refilled. It was a good visit, 0ther than they drew blood. It doesn't hurt, but takes a lot longer to get out of there. That said, I feel kind of distracted today. Maybe paying the price for being so full speed productive yesterday. The above painting sums up how I feel.

I haven't done any art since this morning, this is from a couple weeks ago but still is a powerful piece for me. I don't have a name for it, and not sure I need one. One funny thing about me and may be because my head is often so noisy, but I look at abstract art and it often speaks to me. I know people make fun of Jackson Pollock, but I always loved his work. The local museum has some of his paintings and I want to go see them at some point.

Twombly I don't care for, his stuff looks like silly scribbles and that's bad coming from me. My art is often chaotic and messy, but I try to have some kind of pattern or rhyme or reason to it. If I'm honest sometimes I go with what just looks cool, but there is still some kind of meaning behind it, even if it isn't conscious. If nothing else, someone looking at it will take something away from it. I'm not knocking Twombly. I'm far from an art critic or historian, just my own personal opinion.

I have a few ideas for art I want to try at some point, but a big thing holding me back is fear. I know my own skills with figure drawing and sketches are not strong so I worry how awful something is going to turn out. I usually try to make it intentionally weird, just because I know I can't make it or the person look "real". I guess that can be a thing on its own. In the end, art is subjective. No one I don't think can really say what makes something art. That is evidenced by the infamous banana taped to a wall, though that seems to me more like money laundering.

I sure wouldn't pay for that, but someone paid a lot for it. What can you do? I try not to sweat what other people or artists are making. It does me no good and in most cases, I'm happy to see others being successful. Especially for artists who have been at it far longer than I have. I'm sure I still have time to go before my art is taken seriously if ever. That said, I do it for me and as a form of my therapy which blogging also is for me.

I'm not sure how much any of this has to do with the title as most of this is just stream of conciousness. Either way, I hope its useful or helpful to someone. I will keep doing art and posting it here. Some posts may be much shorter with a few art pieces listed. Others will be longer blogs with more musings. I guess I never know what I'm going to post in a given day. At any rate, thank you again for reading and coming along with me on this crazy journey.