Gray Days
Today at times was a gray day but I want to talk about them, because that's what this art reminds me of. Some days it's when I just feel tired or sad. Others it's more physical.
My eyes with my glasses, sometimes they dry out really bad in the evening making my vision fuzzy. It can be frustrating because I do a lot of work at night. So it makes it difficult when my vision is fuzzy and my eyes are dry. I have blue blocking presciption glasses, and use eye drops, but some days it creeps in and then goes away.
Its the cross I bear I suppose. We all have something that hinders us from being our best. The other thing I contend with is tiredness from my bipolar meds. Some days its not so bad, others I have hardly any drive or motivation to do anything. Once again, this is highly frustrating when I need to work or want to create something but my mind just isn't having it.
One of the kickers of having a mental illness, or just getting older is your body and mind not being able to do the things you used to. Even if on the inside you want to do them so badly, but on the outside, things just aren't cooperating. Like the other day I did a bunch of my work work and then like 3 or 4 blogs. Today I think this is my third blog, a shorter one. I did get my work done today too and ran some errands. I guess maybe things just FELT harder today than a few days ago when I felt like I was just pounding stuff out like it was cool.
I've been told that all creatives go through this. I'm not sure. I can only speak for myself but I'm sure there is something to that. I guess if everything just flowed great all the time everything would get oversaturated with art quickly.
I mused today on Bluesky how this blog seems to have replaced my journal for now. I enjoy writing by hand with a pen, but this is very fun and rewarding also. When I started this I was trying to think of another way to showcase my art. A podcast is out. I don't want to be on camera and don't particularly care for the sound of my own voice. But I like to write and I can type fast and I do art, so I put the two together and it seems to be a pretty good combination so far.
I'm excited I picked up a few more subscribers today. I know I don't have a lot, not even double digits, but every person who subscribes makes me happy. I added a low cost paid tier here also. It has the same benefits as free and is voluntary, its just in case anyone decides they'd like to help support my work. I may go to a more paid newsletter at some point, but for now I think this is the way to go. Trying not to ask people to pay for things as much as possible. Even though I do feel my work is worth something, If I can do it through ads, I'll do it that way.
That pretty much summarizes my day past few days. We'll see what tomorrow brings. In the meantime, I hope everyone is staying safe. Take care of your physical health and your mental health too, don't neglect that. Look after each other and I'll post again soon.