Fighting off Burnout

I told myself since today is Sunday and I blogged so much this week I'd take it easy today. Well, that turned out to be a lie, because here I am blogging again. One thing having bipolar, I have a track record of diving into things head first and letting it completely consume me for weeks, months or even years. I don't do things halfway. When I get into something I go all in.

The fun thing is I learn about a lot of different things and a wide variety of topics. The down side is, I tend to not be the most consistent person in the world. My therapist said thats a trait of bipolar, There is always some new "thing" that captures my interest and it can change quickly.

Just this week I've tried out four or five different texting apps just to go back to google messages, just to see if something was better. It's not nearly as bad since I've been on medication. Before I was medicated I was completely all over the place all the time. Now its a bit more focused and they last longer.

The problem I run into is burnout. I go full speed at 1000 miles per hour into whatever new task has my attention, until suddenly its just not fun anymore. Early in my art journey I was doing five to seven drawings or paintings a day. Then it leveled off to around three or so. Now I'm blogging, but I don't see this as losing interest in art. For a long time I was trying to figure out what to do with my art.

I know my stile is kind of weird and quirky and wouldn't appeal to large groups of people. I sold a few at some art shows. Selling art online is incredibly hard. I don't have the energy to haul a bunch of stuff around anymore and do art shows just to sell a few prints. So last weekend after I had my little mini meltdown, It kind of came to me to try this blog.

I could blog a few times a week...or daily. And monetize the blog either through ads or subscriptions and blog about my art and how it relates to mental health. So far its been a lot of fun and the reception to it has been great. Not a ton of subscribers yet, but it does seem that people are reading it

The thing I need to watch out for, is in my excitment not over doing it. Yesterday it occurred to me I was putting out three or four smaller to medium size blogs a day and people weren't able to keep up. Yesterday I did two longer ones. I kind of just write something out as it comes to me, but I did learn how to schedule posts so as not to overwhelm people.

What I don't want to do is exhaust myself to where this isn't fun anymore. So I need to pace myself. Even this very blog entry, I've taken a few breaks in between just to take a breather. I hate to do that sometimes, but its good to do I realized because I come back to it with a fresh set of eyes and maybe some new perspectives. When I first started this someone suggested I do a political blog. They are all the rage right now. While I have nothing against said blogs, that would burn me out quicker than anything.

I may occasionally post about how something is affecting me and how I'm coping with it. But I feel among all this angry noise, we need some place people who are stressed out can turn to for a few words of encouragement to learn they are not alone. Back to various projects and things I take on. This dates back to when I was a kid. Though back then It was always "some kick". People around me would say "oh he's on some kick again" be it about super heros, horror or outer space.

While that may have founded fun and clever to some people, all it made me do was stop being so open with my interests. This carried way into adulthood until about four or five years ago when I finally said to hell with everyone, I'm going to do what I like and talk about things I enjoy. I'd loved Taylor Swift and her music for years and years, but was afraid to talk about it because of what potential customers or people around me would say.

When I decided to stop caring what people thought, it felt so freeing. Now I'm enjoying life much more and not feeling so stifled and constraiend on my own social media. Which is a horrible feeling mind you, feeling like you can't be yourself in your own space. So I guess my point in all of this is pace ourselves. We can jump into as many things as we want to and go full speed ahead, but its ok to put it in neutral sometimes.

One thing I want to do with this blog is visit art museums and go on hikes and things, things that will inspire me to write about various topics and how these activities make me feel. Plus it gets me out of the house and will help prevent burnout. One thing I ran into with my art. I do abstract mostly and love it. But sometimes, at least in my head, it feels like I'm doing too similar of things sometimes. Maybe I'm not and its just me, but I don't want this blog to become stale or redundant.

So for that I need to get out of the house more, which will not only stimulate my mind, but will also help me keep from burning out. I have a lot of creative friends who have burned themselves out and its easy to do when its something you love that becomes like a job. So there is nothing wrong with taking a step back and taking a few deep breaths and coming back even stronger. Even if its just for a day or two. This will probably be my only blog for today. Or maybe not, we'll see how I feel later, but either way, I'm not going to force myself. Keep creating and remember to pace yourself and take deep breaths. You got this.