Brain Fog and The Fight to be Productive
Today is one of those days. I had a few more provocative things in mind I wanted to blog about. The the brain fog is hitting me hard today. I know for a lot of us who battle various mental illnesses, the medications while they work also have their share of side effects. For me its morning brain fog. I usually don't feel alert or functional until well in the afternoon some days. It is incredibly frustrating. I have things I want to do and want to share but just can't spin my gears.
What is Brain Fog?
I know it gets mentioned a lot, but it is a common side effect from psychotropic medications. Those could be anything we take for depression, anxiety, bipolar and on up the list. It usually consists of memory issues, trouble focusing, and mental fatigue. For me its often the mental fatigue and trouble focusing. Its like my brain feels like its full of water and any attempt to think or create causes me to be extra tired or drowsy. Sleeping it off sometime works, but sometimes makes it worse. Eating something with a bit of sugar in it like a small candy bar has a tendency to snap me out of it. I'm not sure why, but it helps. Though some days I just have to wait it out. Whatever day it hits, its incredibly frustrating and exhausting.
How do you Combat Brain Fog?
I mentioned the small amount of sugar. I'm not sure if that is medically sound. It works for me. Getting regular sleep helps. Some days I even need a mid morning nap to snap my way out of it. Small cognitive exercises also help. Doodling helps me, watching game shows, doing art. All those things help me regain focus without causing me strain or excess fatigue. Its a good way for me to ease into the day as my brain starts to surface again.
Moving around helps. Taking the dog for a short walk or just moving around the house a bit gets blood flowing through my body and brain and helps me wake up and focus more. You don't need to do a full workout, unless that's what it takes. With anything I talk about it can and should always be tweaked to your individual needs.
Medication Changes
Sometimes the brain fog is temporary due to a medication increase. Sometimes its just a side effect that will stick around. I've tried everything med wise. I take my meds at night, we've tried lowering the dosage, increasing the dosage. Under my doctors supervision, I tried weaning off and using holistic approaches like Omega 3 and Potassium supplements. It was fine for a couple weeks, then it crashed down all around me and I was back on my medication.
Holistic medicine can work for some and I suggest talking to your provider before trying it. For things like mild depression and anxiety it may work perfect. For harsher illnesses like bipolar disorder its less likely to work, but I did want to give it a try. I texted my therapist to let him know when it wasn't working and he was able to advice me on what to take and how much until I could get back in for an office visit. This is the importance of keeping your providers in the loop if you do try to come off your psychiatric medication.
The most important thing is to advocate for yourself. If your medication is clearly not working or if you feel worse, then insist they try you on something else. Some side effects are normal and they are supposed to just work. I was on Seroquel for a few months several years ago. It worked almost too well. I was a zombie all the time. I slept all night and about 4-5 hours of the day. I couldn't even process conversations because it took my brain five minutes to figure out what someone said and how to respond.
I had some "resting bitch face' or in clinical terms a "flat affect". People in public would walk by me and go "What is YOUR problem?" and I was like "Its just mah face." That is when I had the energy to go out. I did have the wildest dreams I ever had on Seroquel though. Very realistic trippy crazy dreams. I started to be sure there was some alternate universe out there these dreams were so intense and realistic. Thankfully, I eventually came off it and are on more functional meds now.
Letting Go of Medication Guilt
This is something I struggle with even now. Being on psychiatric medication isn't a weakness. Read that again if you must. No matter what the toxic dude bro's say, or the wellness influencers or anyone else tells you, you are not weak or possess any moral failings if you need medication to function or keep out of trouble. You have a disease, an illness. You need to be treated for it. Sometimes diet, sleep and exercise can manage it for some people. Others we need something to help us through.
These same people don't tell diabetics not to take insulin, or asthmatics not to use their inhalers. There is a stigma around mental illness that needing treatment is some kind of character or moral failure or that you're weak minded. Years ago after a panic attack, I had posted about it online after a few days absence and a few people told me how weak I was. That really stung even though it was strangers. No one likes to be told that. My medication lets me be me, even if I have to fight through some side effects some days. But don't feel guilt or shame because you are on medication or stop taking it because of those things.
Needing medication for the rest of my life isn't the most exciting prospect, but its the hand I'm dealt and I'll do my best with it. Even fighting through brain fog, its really rough some days and I just want to throw my medication out the window, but I know I need it and I'm better off on it even with the fog. So we cope and we fight, because that is who we are. I feel my creativity comes from my bipolar too and the medication slows my brain down enough I can actually create something coherent.
Brain fog sucks, but its a battle you can win. Every day, you get up and take it on. With the coping skills I mentioned above and having a good support system, you can make it through and find your way out of the foggy haze many of us live with every day. There is a new light to find each day. You can find yours.