Beyond the Service: A Day Spent Honoring a Life in a Polish Church

Yesterday we spent the day at a funeral for my wife's aunt who passed away recently. I never met her, and wife hadn't seen her in years, but we went to the funeral anyway out of respect to our other family members. The service was at an old Catholic church, a Polish Catholic Church way out in the country. I think the church is around 100 years or so old. Its not as old as some of the missions around San Antonio, but its plenty old.

Maybe its because I'm so old, but I like old things Our house is 100 years old and it has a lot of quirks and character. Newly built things just don't have the same personality as some of the old stuff. Now, I'm not Catholic or even Christian, I'm mostly Buddhist these days. However, I find religious things fascinating and was fascinated by the statues and paintings all around the church that are way older than any of us.

Of note was a statue of a Saint with 3 heads. We never did figure out who that is supposed to be or what it signifies. There is also a painting of a black Madonna (like The Madonna not Madonna the pop star). I've seen similar paintings before, but it struck me as unusual in a Polish church in a mostly white community.

I didn't take part in the rituals. I grew up protestant and funerals were usually short and the preacher talking about how we can all be in heaven with the deceased if we get saved too. Catholic services one person said is like Religious aerobics, for two hours you sit, stand, kneel, stand again then repeat the cycle over and over. This service everyone said was far longer than usual as the priest chose to ad lib a lot along with reading the rosary. Not sure what the rules are. I noticed his vestments were very elaborate and the embroidery looked like a large bird bleeding onto a group of smaller birds. I'm not sure what that signifies, but found that interesting.

I didn't take any pictures because it was a funeral and I didn't want to seem like paparazzi. The funeral rituals in the US always struck me as strange. I guess its because of how people act at funerals. I don't know if its discomfort around the dead, or just social anxiety or what. But people often can be talking loud, laughing loudly or just general strange behavior. At least to me.

Maybe its because I'm autistic and bipolar and feel like an alien most of the time anyway. I worked in a funeral home about 20 years ago and then I was shocked at how people behaved. At one funeral I saw a near fist fight breakout among siblings. I guess I just always assumed around their dead relative's body, people would be quiet and respectful, but I thought wrong.

Yesterday's funeral didn't have any egregious behavior. Just a few weird things I noticed here and there, but I notice strange things. After the funeral the service at the gravesite was relatively short. Then we had a dinner at a nearby banquet hall. All was pretty good though I had to step outside due to being overstimulated from all the noise and chatter.

We left after awhile, but all in all the whole event took the whole day. When I got home I crashed out on the couch for a couple hours as I got up around 5am for the long drive. I was still pretty beat after I woke up. But at least it was a good day with the family.

Hopefully there won't be any more funerals any time soon. It did make me wonder what kind of funeral I'd ever have. I'm a recent convert to Buddhism after being various forms of pagan for many years. There is a Buddhist temple in town I'd like to visit sometime and see what else I can learn. In the meantime I mostly use books and Youtube videos to learn about my new belief system.

So that was my day, pretty interesting and fascinating if I'm honest. I didn't take part in the mass or any of that. I just sat respectfully and took it all in. I also didn't sing the songs or cite the prayers. I don't believe in sin or that I'm a sinner or wretch needing saving. I have my own religious baggage from growing up Baptist and have been undoing my own stuff about my lousy self esteem from always being told I wasn't good enough as a kid. I don't have anything against Catholics, my wife is Catholic, its just not for me.

Today we hope to go for a nature hike at a local trail. I think it'll be good to get out in nature and stretch my legs after sitting inside all day yesterday and not being able to move around or talk. Maybe thats why I get so antsy because I need stimulation and sitting in a service with a guy talking doesn't help.  We'll see how today goes, but thank you all for reading and stopping in. Feel free to comment with your own funeral experiences or stories. Until next time.