A Lost Brother

April was the 6 yr anniversary of my older Brother's funeral. He was 5 years older than me. Growing up we never got along. I always wanted a real older brother, but he treated me like an annoyance and regularly beat on me like I was his personal punching bag.

As an adult, he chased money and avoided me for over 10 years because he thought I was white trash. He died in his sleep from a seizure disorder at 50. I'm 51 now, I still have difficulty processing the whole thing

When I see people with siblings that are close to each other, the idea seems like such a foreign concept. My step kids are close to each other and wife is close to her sister. Even seeing Jason and Travis Kelce baffles me because I had an older brother but never ever had that and will never know what that's like.

Now seeing interviews with Pope Leos brother it brings back these weird feelings again and I'm not sure what to do with them if anything. Not sure I'll ever fully wrap my head around any of it.